Thanks :) I’m tryingggg. I’m sure tomorrow will be better. :)
I have no idea why. I’m just really bummed about everything. Even though he’s completely awful to me and I’m forcing myself to let go for good this time, it’s still really hard to forget the good times. I know it’s for the best though. That’s not even really what’s wrong though. I just feel shitty. I feel ugly. I feel like my face is covered in zits and my hair is crazy and I don’t like any of my clothes. I guess I just feel very insecure and alone. I know tomorrow will be better. I have work, so I’ll be busy most of the day. When I get out, I’m going to meet Brendon for his break. After his break, I’m going shopping for a little bit I guess. I think I’ll go visit my grandpa if it’s not too late after that. He can always make me laugh.
For waking me up and telling me you were going on a date tonight. Thanks a lot. Really made my fucking day. Fuck you.
Haven’t been able to fall asleep. I’m completely drained. I have work at 9 tomorrow. Kill me. This is officially the worst black friday ever. Going to try to force myself to sleep now, even though I’ve been trying to sleep since like 7. FML.
you made your choice.
I have training at Macy’s today. Super nervous. I’m too shy. Maybe I’ll meet some new friends. I could really use some new people in my life.
I’m stressed. I have to get clothes for work. I went shopping yesterday with dad, but I only got shoes. I’m getting ready to go home so I can go shopping with Brendon. I have to find something today. I have training tomorrow. Six hours of videos. I’m not too excited. Kyle won’t stop begging me to take him to the mall and I’m starting to get pissed off. I had 11 missed calls from him and Aaron last night when I checked my phone after shopping. When I woke up today, I had a text from my aunt asking if I’m going to take him today. I don’t know why she won’t just take him. He’s her kid, not mine. I’m so sick of being expected to fix EVERYONE’S problems. Do they ever think that I have problems of my own that I need to fix? I don’t even want to talk to my friends anymore because all it turns into is me listening to them whine about someone. If I’m upset about something, forget it, I’m on my own. They don’t have time for that. If I don’t answer my phone the second they call, it’s the end of the world and I’m a horrible person. Oh, I’m apparently also a cunt for that. I’m done being there for everyone. All they do is use me. Friends, family, everyone. So from now on, I’m looking out for myself and that’s it. I’m going to go to work, come home, and go to bed. I’m not going to answer my phone. I’m done making an effort with anyone. I’m always last on everyone’s list, until they need something. You all picked someone else over me. You made your choice, now deal with it. It’s not something you can take back. I hope you all have a great time with your “best friends” who use you, because when you finally realize it, I won’t be around for you anymore. I’m done caring. I’m done trying. I quit. I hope you all have nice lives without me.